


Mother I've always wanted

by themerrymutants



Category: X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Depression, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 10:57:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6326269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themerrymutants/pseuds/themerrymutants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During one of Erik the Clone's crying fits Magda comes in to comfort him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mother I've always wanted

Erik had always wanted a real mother; someone who would take care of him and actually give a shit. It’d taken 17 years of pain but he’d finally found her. He just wished he didn’t cause her so much pain. Admittedly he couldn’t prove it, she’d never admit it herself, she was too nice, but he could see it. It was a brief quickening of her heart rate, she probably didn’t even notice it, but he did and it hurt. It seemed to him all he could do is cause pain. He wanted to make up for that, to do something that would improve someone’s life, fat chance though. 

There were days when it was better, when he didn’t seem to get hurt as easily. Those were the good days. He liked those days best, on those days he could genuinely feel hope. He could con himself into believing his friends were alive somewhere trying to figure out where he was, and if not that they were at least happy. Then there were days like today where a simple misinterpretation of tone could make him feel like he was making everything worse. So he sat up at some unholy hour waiting for the sound of her breathing to fall into the rhythm it did when she slept. Finally she fell asleep and he finally let himself cry. 

He preferred when no one was around to hear. He wasn’t sure if it was because of Josephine or just a dislike of feeling pitied but that was just how he was and there was no need to change now. He didn’t notice the door opening, Magda’s familiar footfalls, or even the bed dipping as she sat next to him. It wasn’t until she laid a comforting hand on his shoulder that he even knew she was there.

“I’m fine,” he lied quickly wiping the tears from his eyes.

“Liar,” she murmured in reply. She wasn’t gifted like he was however she could read people, and contrary to what he believed he was fairly easy to read. With a sigh she held out her arms to him, as much as she’d love to go back to sleep it seemed he needed the comfort more than she needed her bed.

Like the child he still was he crawled over embracing her, burying his face in her shoulder, and cried. He was desperate for the ~~comforting~~ maternal contact. He’d never voice it but he considered her his mother. She fit the bill the others had described: kind, loving, caring, willing to put up with more than should be allowed, and willing to listen to him when needed. To her though he was a friend, a ghost of a man she once knew, most importantly a chance to pretend she had a chance to reverse time and do things over again. 

She returned the embrace running a comforting hand along his back. She couldn’t help feeling sorry for the poor clone. He was a lost little boy trying to find his place in the world only to discover that most of the world felt he had no place thanks to Max. Despite a valiant effort to fight it it was difficult for him to create an identity outside of the one forced upon him. It was to the point where he’d introduce himself as a shadow of Max. He seemed to be unable to see what made him his own person. His rare smile that seemed to brighten the room, his tendency to joke when nervous, his accent that was both confusing and endearing at the same time, his kindness, his willingness to help however he could whenever he could, his powers which he used when needed usually solely to get around, even his head for math, despite being a clone he was very much his own person. She hoped one day he’d be able to see that. For now though she’d have the confidence in him he needed.

Erik wanted to thank her but by now he’d said it so much it seemed to ring hollow, and being compromised as he was he was afraid he’d slip and call her mother. She was uncomfortable enough as it was, no need to make it worse. Instead he wordlessly clung to her, sobbing into her shoulder. The entire time she never complained though he was sure she wanted to. 

Eventually his sobs began to lessen until he finally cried himself to sleep. She maneuvered herself out from under him carefully tucking him in. 

“Goodnight little one,” she whispered turning out the light.


End file.
